Primary Attribute Archive
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/RSS FeedThe party engages in some pharmaceutical testing. Or they will, if they can find their way back to base. Orienteering is hard!
Vons causes immeasurable sadness. Grickx ruins a door. Wealthy turns down a prime offer. Jyessi hears something coming.
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/RSS FeedThe party works on plans for a new base and attempts to subdue a dangerous corrupted creature caught in their cunning trap. There’s daring! There’s danger! There’s logistics!
Jyessi uses a specialty tool. Grickx ties the knot. Wealthy suffers the Air Bud precedent. Vons makes draft picks.
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/RSS FeedThe party made it down to the ground, and now it’s time to do research! And learn what the ocean smells like!
Jyessi takes in the view. Grickx offers a ride. Wealthy doesn’t think through all the angles. Vons feels secure.
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/RSS FeedThe party’s beat up as hell, Grickx is a popsicle, and they’re not sure what to do next. But there’s a shiny object nearby! They should look at that.
Grickx takes a deal. Wealthy finally uses her history lessons. Jyessi sets some boundaries. Vons doesn’t learn.
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/RSS FeedIt’s time for the party to head back down to the ground, and that means traveling through the maintenance tunnels and caverns below the city to reach a teleportation circle. The real question is: how many Arx-OSHA noncompliance tickets will they file before they get there?
Vons takes decisive action. Jyessi does a press-up. Wealthy flaps her hands. Grickx is a chill dude.
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/RSS FeedIt’s time for our 2023 (Winter) Solstice Special! The party’s been cursed with some last-minute gift shopping, and things quickly get even more complicated than the usual weighing of potential jail time versus your child’s disappointment as you knife fight over the last Playstation.
Grickx ruminates on loofahs. Vons engages in some 1st grade science. Jyessi points at a child. Wealthy does some flashy baking.
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/RSS FeedThe party encounters a prospective member! Will they recruit this new person? Or will the episode be a shaggy dog story? Ooh, the fake suspense!
Grickx designs a game. Wealthy makes some space. Vons struggles with personal bias. Jyessi corrals children.
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/RSS FeedIt’s time for the party to engage in everyone’s favorite activity: mourning! They’re going to throw a wake for Aracyne. And read the letters she wrote them in case of her death. Cheerfulness all around!
Vons goes climbing. Grickx works the room. Wealthy gets support from an unlikely source.
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P.S. Ian feels the need to let y’all know the title is referencing this song by Radical Face: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jR3AvvGr28Q
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/RSS FeedThe party watches to see if even more familicide is in the cards tonight, conducts a cover up, raids a place for documents, and tries to do some emotional processing. Big night!
Vons goes through someone’s bag. Grickx provides an excellent Acting. Wealthy endorses a statement.
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/RSS FeedThe aftermath of the shipyard battle is a giant tangled mess, and it’s up to our party to help detangle it. Or make the snarl worse. One of the two. There’s no way Inspector Pearl will regret letting them get involved.
Grickx is difficult. Vons assumes a certain kind of relationship. Wealthy gives a much-needed hug.
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/RSS FeedThe party’s back together as Wealthy and Grickx return to the secret shipyard to save Vons, who’s a little tied up at the moment. An altercation ensues. Illusions abound, missiles are magic’ed, and Vons pursues an old lady. No, not that kind of pursue.
Grickx ramps up. Vons has fun with foam. Wealthy makes an unfortunate discovery.
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/RSS FeedWealthy and Grickx are cold and lost, and Vons is held captive by some truly awful people. They need to find a way out of their dire predicaments, and that might require some drastic measures.
Grickx knows what a creek is like. Wealthy relinquishes legal authority. Vons calls on a friend.
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/RSS FeedShit gets real.
Aracyne challenges authority. Grickx practices poor fire safety. Vons makes a pamphlet. Wealthy takes a leap of faith.
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/RSS FeedThe party wakes up to find the Arx abandoned and slowly falling to the ground. It’s not ideal! So they set forth to fix things and get the Arx back to normal, with the help of the most magical substance of all.
Grickx laps up some milk. Wealthy gardens aggressively. Aracyne has an Entrapment moment. Vons blows someone’s mind.
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/RSS FeedScheduling Note: Keep an eye out for our Halloween special, dropping on Monday next week!
The party goes to rescue Wealthy from her precarious hiding spot in a giant scary secret shipyard. They just need to find the shipyard. And her. And get her down. And slip in and out of a highly secure area without anyone noticing. Easy!
Grickx gets tricky. Wealthy pines for snacks. Aracyne turns on the waterworks. Vons would like to leave now, please.
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/RSS FeedThe party takes a little time to chill out and do a little bonding. The plot surely can’t find them and wreck their day. Right?
Vons actually contributes to his business. Grickx tries to find a cart. Aracyne has some Girl Talk Time ™. Wealthy takes a peek.
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/RSS FeedHoney (somewhat) obtained, most of the party goes to visit Wealthy’s parents. Meanwhile, Grickx turns illusions for cash.
Vons follows his nose. Aracyne advocates. Wealthy has an old favorite book. Grickx works on branding.
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/RSS FeedThe party is going to do some NERD stuff. Reading! Research! Entomology! Also they visit some BEES.
Vons tries to take a nap. Wealthy send a parental missive. Aracyne drops some names. Grickx furthers his quest to Quarkdom.
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/RSS FeedIt’s time to engage in a little corporate espionage! The party is determined to obtain the now-buried research done by Bjartell’s back in the day. Will it be a cunning break-in? A con job? A time loop caper???
Vons takes on a stony countenance. Wealthy threatens someone. Grickx wants to be included. Aracyne hangs out with her boyfriend’s ex.
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/RSS FeedThe party tries to chase down more sources of honey, which involves talking to everyone’s favorite person: Nara! Also Vons gives a presentation to a room of politely interested people.
Aracyne loans a handkerchief. Wealthy follows along. Vons asks for volunteers. Grickx dodges the question.
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/RSS FeedThe party decides on a direction for their research efforts as they attempt to find a cure for the Corruption. It immediately devolves into arguments about milking bees. Or juicing them. It gets weird, is what we’re saying.
Vons has creative entomological ideas. Wealthy talks shop with a shopkeep. Aracyne tracks down an acquaintance. Grickx is down for ground bees.
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/RSS FeedThe party…doesn’t show up in this week’s episode! :O
We realized that the Corruption’s creation myth a few episodes back was presented in a really confusing way. So this week we’re bringing you a hopefully-clearer and expanded version of the myth. This will also be the version Grickx received, retroactively, so all the player characters have this same information going forward.
We’ll be back with a standard episode next week. We hope you enjoy the show!
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/RSS FeedThe party levels up! Twice! We take a little breather to power up everyone’s characters and get ready for the next arc of the campaign now that they’ve made it back to the Arx.
Vons chooses mobility over being good with his tongue. Aracyne is able to take a few more hits. Grickx dreams up a new business opportunity. Wealthy learns how to be Big Brother.
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/RSS FeedThe party’s finally in a position to do some Science! Time to see what they can learn about how to treat the Corruption. Maybe they’ll discover something previous researchers didn’t…
Aracyne leads a deep breathing exercise. Wealthy keeps everyone in line. Vons knows that the gods gave him two perfectly fine spreaders already. Grickx has a list and he’s checking it twice.
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/RSS Feed*Content Warning*: Discussions of torture and non-consensual medical experimentation.
The party pauses and realizes there might be some ethical issues with their master plan. Debate ensues.
Aracyne doesn’t see the problem. Grickx is solutions-oriented. Vons wants to preserve his customer base. Wealthy takes a stand, and it’s incredible.
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/RSS FeedThe party keeps exploring the underground settlement they’ve found themselves in, and ponder asking the well another question. Oh, and panic about Grickx’s unconsciousness. There’s also that.
Grickx uses a quill. Aracyne breaks the news. Wealthy administers first aid. Vons finds a tasty snack.
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You too can finally see the Wells for Boys sketch! Follow this link to unlock the sacred knowledge of what the hell we’re talking about: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BONhk-hbiXk
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/RSS FeedWe take a moment to dive inside Grickx’s mind in a special episode! He’s going to solve his own insanity, brought on by his psychic contact with the Corruption, or die trying. Hahaha, the CK wouldn’t actually kill him if he died in his mind, right?
…Right?
Grickx irrigates some dirt. The CK gives at least one confusing lore dump. Vons, Aracyne, and Wealthy all hang out off-camera playing cards or something.
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/RSS FeedThe party heads out from the hidden village to recover their satellite lab teammates and get down to studying the Corruption. It’s just a few days travel through the woods. Surely nothing interesting or unexpected will happen. What is this, some sort of collaborative improvised narrative?
Grickx wells well enough. Vons gets annoyed at an interruption. Aracyne opens a door in a really cool way. Wealthy takes charge.
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/RSS FeedThe party spends some time exploring the village nestled away in the narrows, hidden from the Corruption that roams the earth. It’s a chance to tell stories, trade information, and finally find someone as grossed out by the idea of eating insects as Erin is.
Wealthy cooks an onion. Vons gets an F in basic physics. Aracyne knows politics ain’t easy. Grickx shares a sobering maintenance report.
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/RSS FeedThe party has been safely guided by Jelsum Squab to a hidden village in the woods that has somehow survived the corruption all these years. Now it’s time to make new friends. God help them.
Vons eyes market expansion. Aracyne has a limited social vocabulary. Grickx growls grumpily. Wealthy needs a towel.
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/RSS FeedThe party’s rested up after their brush with death fighting off the swarm of corrupted creatures that nearly discovered their base. Now they go to keep an appointment, and see if perhaps they aren’t so alone on the ground after all.
Please welcome our special guest, Mikey Neumann! He’s hella cool and you’re all going to have a great time with him this episode. We know we did recording it. 😀
Vons violates a burn ban. Aracyne has a type. Wealthy gets guts everywhere. Grickx discovers what’s more valuable than gold. Jelsum is going to get everybody killed.
Thank you again to Mikey Neumann for guesting on this episode! Please go check out his wonderful work:
The Filmjoy Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/filmjoy
Twitter: https://twitter.com/FilmJoyMedia
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/movieswithmikeyCheck us out online! We’re at https://www.primaryattribute.com
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/RSS FeedThe party contends with a swarm of corrupted creatures that could find their secret base any second. They review their cunning plan before bursting out into the fray to save the base and themselves. But no plan is flawless, and it looks like not everyone might be saved after all.
Um…have fun?
Grickx takes a peek. Vons gets sticky all over the place. Wealthy wields a wizard’s wand. Aracyne screams.
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/RSS FeedOur party is reunited, just in time for everything to be terrible. At least they can face it together! All they need is a cunning plan, and perhaps a new haphazard device or two…
Wealthy volunteers for a scary thing of her own volition. Aracyne gets an answer. Grickx creates a new communication protocol. Vons is back, babyee.
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/RSS FeedThe party’s holed up in an extra dimensional space and has six hours to figure out what to do about the army of shadow creatures outside or they’re toast.
Tick tock.
Grickx sits on a bench. Aracyne sticks an eye out. Wealthy reminds everyone she can cast more than Magic Missile. Vons gets some on-camera time!
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/RSS FeedThe party’s captured one of the corrupted creatures and now tries to make good their escape. They have to outrun a tireless army through unfamiliar territory. It’s a lot, but they’re determined, and that counts for something.
Aracyne yeets. Wealthy fails to wake someone up. Elara makes small talk. Grickx takes a hell of a risk.
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/RSS FeedAfter managing a successful retreat from the seaside fortress, the party regroups and tries a new strategy to corner and capture one of the Corrupted creatures. Scouting parties are arranged, traps are set, and Wealthy is questioned about her relationship status because she can never have a moment’s respite.
Wealthy blushes hard enough to start a fire. Grickx throws some glitter. Elara engages in Schrodinger’s flirting. Aracyne gets axed.
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/RSS FeedThe party’s quickly learning that exfiltration is a whole skillset unto itself. Luckily they’re good at learning on the job, because shit’s about to go sideways.
Grickx gives a spanking. Aracyne does her best to be inconspicuous. Wealthy gives in to low-brow humor. Elara falls.
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/RSS FeedThe party’s in a sticky situation, but as long as they keep their heads about them and stay stealthy they might be able to get out of this. Maybe. I’m sure it’ll all go smoothly. But if it doesn’t, they can just go full action movie. You can’t lose, dear listener!
Aracyne shows an opponent a shortcut. Wealthy quintuple taps, just to be sure. Elara has a mean right hook. Grickx wappity wap waps.
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/RSS FeedThe party finally makes it to Reinyalango, and start their recon operation. There’s only so much they can do from high up on the cliffs surrounding the city, however, and soon they decide to do a quick infiltration to get some better intel.
Aracyne learns knife safety is more difficult when you’re invisible. Wealthy wants to cut the cord. Grickx explores mechanophilia. Elara and gravity have a minor disagreement.
Vons is probably safe and sound while he’s off camera. Probably.
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/RSS FeedIt’s not every day you find yourselves in a divinely-hidden village where the sun is shining and there’s no Corruption to be found. The party handles it the way they usually do: heavy drinking and suspicion. Would you have it any other way?
Wealthy doesn’t have any secrets. Elara blurs some boundaries. Grickx shows off his magic wand. Aracyne’s wiles are of no use. Vons suffers a contract violation by not getting a scene.
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/RSS FeedThe party’s established their base camp on the ground, so now it’s time to go out on their very first expedition! A romp down to a town by the sea, what could go wrong? It’s not like the world ended or anyth–oh, wait.
Vons thinks traditional equipment is overrated. Aracyne passes notes in class. Grickx guides the invisible hand. Elara makes the opening credits. Wealthy finds a really weird place to pee.
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/RSS FeedHaving reunited with Professor Jenkins, the party sits down to ask him a few questions. And have more tea. Tea is important.
Vons talks about a dream he had once. Aracyne questions a daring action. Grickx plans a road trip. Wealthy takes the lead.
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/RSS FeedThe party, along with their mini army, have a little sitdown with their new hosts to ask a few questions. Everything promptly gets…complex? Complex. Let’s go with that.
Aracyne has tea. Vons finds a nice place to sit. Wealthy sees an old friend. Grickx chills.
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/RSS FeedThe party descends into a dark hatch on a corrupted planet to an uncertain fate. Beats going to work.
Vons throws some dirt. Aracyne sticks her head through something. Grickx perceives the truth of reality. Wealthy’s reputation precedes her.
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/RSS FeedIt’s the big day! The party heads down to the ground, beneath the storming clouds, away from everything they know and love, to try and find Professor Jenkins. Somebody’s desperate for co-author credit.
Grickx demonstrates why they banned lawn darts. Vons pushes pills. Wealthy struggles to be brave. Aracyne sticks, branches, and trunks the landing.
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/RSS FeedHey everyone! This is the second week of our two week hiatus from full-size episodes. To tide you over, please have this fun little preview of our next episode, 105, where the party is going to make it the ground or die trying.
I’m sure they’ll be fine? Yeah, let’s go with that.
See you next week!
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/RSS FeedHey all, we’re taking a quick two week hiatus to rebuild our recording buffer and give ourselves a bit of a breather after life came at a few of us quite fast lately. There won’t be a full-sized episode this week or next week, but we didn’t want to leave you high and dry. So here’s a gift, just for you! A chunk of our conversation as the players leveled their fine characters up to level six!
If this doesn’t sound like your jam, fear not: we’ll be including the bullet points basics of their level up at the start of our next main episode. This version however, has dice rolling, HP increases, and debate about which spells to select. So if you’re in for some peeking behind the scenes we’re here for you. 🙂
Stay tuned next week when we’ll release a little trailer for our next full-size episode!
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/RSS FeedWhile the party rounds up their allies and makes final preparations for their expedition to the ground, Vons takes some time to chase down an investigation that’s near and dear to his heart.
Vons hits a piece of metal. Wealthy calls on a friend. Aracyne has questions about a totally random dagger. Grickx tempts a dragon.
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/RSS FeedThe party’s interrogation by security continues while Vons pursues the greatest treasure of all: files. Knowledge? Knowledge files.
Aracyne acts like a horror movie monster. Wealthy suspects she has a problem. Grickx has an idea for an art project. Vons takes a conversation down so many cul-de-sacs the GMs brain overheats.
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/RSS FeedThe party’s been detained by Arx security and has to figure out just how they’re going to handle a tough interrogation about their recent activities. A couple of them have big surprises in store…
Grickx alphas. Wealthy plays it cool. Aracyne lays it on thick. Vons pokes around some shelves.
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