Primary Attribute Archive
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/RSS FeedHaving met one of the city’s most experienced engineers, the party gets into doing what they do best: badgering someone relentlessly until they get what they want. They also ride an elevator!
Vons thinks (and drinks) fast. Wealthy pokes a door. Aracyne runs some tests. Grickx can’t believe this bullshit. Everyone loots the room.
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/RSS FeedIt’s our 100th episode! To celebrate, we answer questions from our wonderful listeners in our very first mailbag episode. Get ready for some sweet behind the scenes insights, hints at future developments, and answers directly from the characters in addition to the players.
Thank you all so much for listening. We’re looking forward to making it to episode 200 with y’all, and beyond! 🙂
Adam brings the beer knowledge. Erin has some opinions about Gex. Kelly reflects on evil cars. Whit has some modest plans for Grickx’s future. Ian can’t take a compliment.
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/RSS FeedThe party faces down a brightly lit room. Lucky for them, blinding light has never, ever, EVER been a sign that something bad was about to happen. Ever. Especially when there’s magic crystal cores involved. It’ll be fine, and definitely no one will get hurt at all.
Aracyne stars in a facial cleanser commercial. Vons asks an important question. Grickx encounters a big red button. Wealthy thinks someone’s a jerk.
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/RSS FeedThe party starts their delve into the deepest maintenance tunnels to try and recover hazardous-environment suits. There they encounter their natural predator: a ledge. How will they best it this time? Will there be rope? Will there be…rope MATH?
Grickx finds help in chaos. Aracyne reties a knot. Vons supervises. Wealthy pulls off an amazing trick.
Please note that this is *not* coming out before we record episode 100 (I was wrong in the bit moved to the stinger section), so we can’t accept any more questions for that episode. We’d still love to hear from you, though, and we will read your messages on air in a future episode!
If you want to check out Castles & Crusades, the Player’s Handbook is currently free on DriveThruRPG! https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/307737/Castles–Crusades-Players-Handbook–Fiction-BUNDLE
You can also get the Player’s Handbook AND Monsters and Treasure, everything you need to play the game, for free on Troll Lord’s site!
Player’s Handbook: https://www.trolllord.com/tlgstore/#!/Players-Handbook-7th-Pr-Digital-FREE/p/89198209/category=11639170Monsters and Treasure: https://www.trolllord.com/tlgstore/#!/Castles-&–Crusades-Monsters-&-Treasure-3rd-Printing-Digital/p/195477571/category=11639170
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/RSS FeedThe party gathers allies to go to the ground, comes up with more of a plan, and even asks for advice. They’ll need every advantage they can get to survive this, and they plan on doing it right.
Grickx plays darts. Wealthy comes face-to-face with a wolf. Vons has a stiff drink. Aracyne doesn’t know why she likes someone.
You have only a few days left to submit your letters for the 100th episode! Mail us at letters@primaryattribute.com, contact us through any of our social media, which are listed on www.primaryattribute.com and at the end of the show, or send us a rat through the form on the site. You don’t even have to be caught up. 😀
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/RSS FeedThe party digs into what the ground’s like before they head out, and explores options for (relatively) safe transportation. They also start looking into possible defenses against The Corruption, and maybe even researching a cure.
Grickx goes to the archives. Wealthy thinks about the weather. Aracyne learns about fancy preppers. Vons is vindicated.
Our 100th episode mailbag is drawing close! Submit questions to us at letters@primaryattribute.com, via sending a Rat through our website, or on our social media. They can be for the cast or the in-world characters, and no question is too small, too big, too silly, or too serious. Data is still be gathered on maximum sauciness content.
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/RSS FeedThe party’s decided to go to the ground, so now it’s time for them to do everything they can to make sure it’s not a one way trip. Wacky wizards, building gear from scrap, and being threatened by a scary old man are but three of the challenges they’ll need to face to get ready.
Grickx gets a location marked on his map. Wealthy bravely asks for someone’s contact info. Vons conducts a survey. Aracyne asks a straightforward question.
Write in with your questions for our 100th episode! You can reach us at letters@primaryattribute.com, or on any of our social media (linked on our website). There’s only a couple weeks left to get yours in, so chop chop! No question is too big, too small, too weird, or too basic.
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/RSS FeedThe party has some downtime and reviews their progress, picks at loose threads, and starts to make a good plan to do a normal chill thing that definitely isn’t dangerous or scary at all. Crimes against god(s) are also considered.
Grickx edges towards Terminator. Aracyne starts her invite list. Wealthy provides collateral. Vons won’t take wiener for an answer.
Shoutout to Jo Ladzinski, who’s @LadzWriting on Twitter!
Send us your questions for our 100th episode mailbag! Email letters@primaryattribute.com, or you can send a message through the form on our website or any of the social media we’re on (links also on our site).
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/RSS FeedIt’s our second Winter Solstice episode! Yay!
On the longest night of the year, the party finds that the children of the Arx aren’t getting their presents. So our heroes leap into action to save the Solstice, even if it means negotiating with their most hated enemies. For the children!
Aracyne sings a little song. Vons is decked by boughs of holly. Grickx invents a terrible beer. Wealthy brings down the house.
Our 100th episode is coming up and you should send us questions for the mailbag! You can write us at letters@primaryattribute.com, send us a rat through the form on the website, or message on Twitter @primeattribute, on Facebook at facebook.com/primaryattributepod, or on Tumblr at https://primaryattribute.tumblr.com.
Check us out online! We’re at https://www.primaryattribute.com
Extras and Bonus Notes
- The Doug podcast Ian and Erin are referring to is The Funnie Papers: https://thefunniepapers.podbean.com
- There is a peppermint sour out in the world, though it sounds better than what we propose in this episode: https://untappd.com/b/marble-beers-ltd-raspberry-hibiscus-and-peppermint-sour/3391523
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/RSS FeedThe Maefynwes have their confrontation about Aracyne’s adventuring and certain set of skills. Everyone else has to awkwardly overhear it in the next room. And then: long late-night chats! It’s like a slumber party, except not at all like that.
Wealthy uses her word of the day. Vons remembers to read his sign. Grickx pitches a business idea that scales well. Aracyne damages the finish.
Reminder that our 100th episode is coming up and we’d like to do a mailbag segment! Write us at letters@primaryattribute.com, reach out to us on our social media, or send us a rat through the form on our website. No question is too big or too small, too strange or too straightforward.
Check us out online! We’re at https//www.primaryattribute.com
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/RSS FeedSometimes you just want to have a nice day of research and then something comes along and ruins it. Deadlines, books being checked out, erroneous citations, someone fucking up on accident… There’s all sorts of thrilling possibilities!
Vons gets in the gravy. Wealthy’s really out of it, man. Grickx delves into the secrets of the soul. Aracyne watches things fall apart.
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/RSS FeedDuring an apocalyptic storm the party turns to the true struggle: answering an unsolvable philosophical question being asked by a cold, calculating, terrifying patriarch. Honestly, they might rather be back outside. At least killing that shadowy giant bird was straightforward. Sort of. Maybe that’s where the secret passage leads, if they’re lucky.
Grickx mismeasures. Wealthy gets carried. Vons goes outside his specialization. Aracyne goes downstairs.
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/RSS FeedThe storm still rages outside and traps the party in the Maefynwe estate, a gilded cage if there ever was one. Full of treacherous snakes. Elf snakes? Snelfs?
They’ll have to play it cool and keep their wits about them as they bond with the elder Maefynwes and try to find out everything they can about their mysterious motives. Snacks and secrets must also be found. Snacks are important, and secrets are part of a balanced breakfast!
Grickx just fucking goes for it, and it actually works, to the CK’s disbelief. Vons shows that reading really does open new doors for you. Wealthy gets left alone. Aracyne can’t believe what she’s seeing.
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Sweet Russian 6 Pack gameplay can be viewed here! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yergSkyASwE
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/RSS FeedThe party holes up at the Maefynwe estate as the storm howls outside and the lockdown continues. They might be stuck, but there’s an investigation to do and with a little ingenuity they could crack the case and find Professor Jenkins. Or destroy a bunch of expensive stuff. Or both!
Grickx is the host with the most. Wealthy turns on Find my Friends. Vons has a million-gold idea. Aracyne tries to follow a map to her grandfather’s heart.
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/RSS FeedCrammed into a small emergency bunker after barely escaping the storm with their lives, the party tries to figure out what to do next. Meanwhile, they search for more tolerable long-term shelter, and the lockdown drives them to get at each others’ throats.
Wealthy doesn’t want to go, but she can’t stay here. Vons has a stirring conversation. Grickx looks for a sublet. Aracyne gets punchy.
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/RSS FeedOn the outside of the Arx during a howling storm, the party tries to take down an enormous bird-creature made of shadow that falls off of it like smoke as it threatens to shred the party to pieces. On top of that it already has Vons in its grip, Wealthy’s having a little bleeding out trouble, and there’s a bunch of civilians around. Because nothing can ever be easy, it seems.
Aracyne picks up a feather. Wealthy comes back to herself. Vons mends something right into the ground. Grickx saves the day.
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/RSS FeedIt’s time for our second annual Halloween special! We’re old enough to have annual traditions now! Aaaaaaa!
Wealthy wakes up. Things go downhill from there.
Wealthy is trapped in a metal box. Wealthy is tied down. Wealthy is trapped in a metal box. Wealthy hears singing. Wealthy is trapped in a metal box. Wealthy doesn’t know how she got there. Wealthy is trapped in a metal box. Wealthy is blinded by light. Wealthy is trapped in a metal box.
Wealthy is utterly alone.
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Boring copyright stuff: “Holiday / Boulevard of Broken Dreams” by Green Day is (c) 2004 Reprise Records. Please don’t sue us for using a short clip.
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/RSS FeedThe party risks life and limb as they try to find Grickx on the outside of the Arx during a storm. Through driving rain, harsh winds, and killer corrupted creatures, nothing will stop them from reaching their friend. Hopefully.
Grickx taunts a bird. Vons gets a grip. Aracyne only has one knife. Wealthy drops something.
Read ‘The Most Dangerous Game’ (1926) by Richard Connell. https://gutenberg.ca/ebooks/connellr-mostdangerousgame/connellr-mostdangerousgame-00-h.html
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/RSS FeedThe brewery opening is derailed! Grickx fights to get himself and his patrons back inside the Arx after lockdown while the rest of the party fights to get out of the locked down Arx to go find Grickx. They bring along enough NPCs to make the CK blush. We lose track of Gex, the hero of the story.
Wealthy grapples with gravity. Aracyne is just a little tipsy. Grickx doubles down on dragons. Vons keeps it together.
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/RSS FeedNote to new listeners: Hey, if you’re new this is like the start of our Season 2, if we did seasons! This or the previous episode are solid jumping off points if you don’t want to binge the archive. The previous episode would be the cold open and this would be the first scene of the season proper, if that helps you choose.
We join the party at the brewery’s grand opening! They’re level 5 and nothing can stop them from slinging beers and finally getting introduced to some of their allies in the revolution. Also, dragon rides!
Grickx wants you to know it wouldn’t be the same without you. Wealthy plays a dangerous game. Aracyne wingwomans. Vons doesn’t look like a cop.
Content Warning: There’s some alcohol-related peer pressure in this episode. No worries if you gotta skip it because of that <3
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/RSS FeedNote to new listeners: Hey, if you’re new this is like the start of our Season 2, if we did seasons! This or the next episode are solid jumping off points if you don’t want to binge the archive. This would be the cold open and the next episode would be the first scene of the season proper, if that helps you choose.
We catch up on Vons’s dreams during the time skip! It’s all fluffy clouds and rainbows and unicorns and terrifying shadow creatures and massive amounts of damage. Wait, what?
Wealthy grapples with a scared friend. Grickx needs a better improv troupe. Vons hurls a squirrel. Aracyne’s reasonable proposition is vehemently vetoed.
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/RSS FeedWe finish our time skip! The party goes and does their best to wrap up their long-term investigations as the clock runs down. Will Aracyne get her grandfather’s trust? Will Vons get the brewery up and running? Will Grickx manage to keep his honeypot scheme going? Will Wealthy ever manage to actually kiss the girl she’s dating? We roll piles of dice to find out!
Vons lets two parts of his life meet. Aracyne cuts it close. Wealthy might have it all figured out. Grickx busts out the blueprints. The CK almost has the NPCs leave the PCs on read.
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/RSS FeedWe start our time skip as the party levels up to 5! They figure out what they’re going to do with all that copious free time when they’re not training their asses off. Breweries are built (finally), dating is failed at, and clandestine operations are continued. Turns out time management is the greatest adventure of all~
Don’t worry, there’s only two level up episodes this time. 😀
Aracyne spends time with family. Grickx goes steady. Vons does the hard thing and asks for help. Wealthy trips and falls on the way to first base.
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/RSS FeedThe party heads down to the Department of Investigations with their arrested, handsome, and/or unconscious rogues and tries to get some answers. What they find out rocks them to their core.
Vons feels the gravity of the situation. Aracyne drops off a delivery. Grickx puts the pieces together. Wealthy struggles with setting priorities. Bartholomew commits to the bit.
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Note: The first uploaded version of the episode was missing the stinger, the current one has fixed the issue!
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/RSS FeedAracyne and Grickx are pinned down as they attempt to get back to the city from Dr. Groves’s lab. Are the approaching people friend or foe? And, more importantly, are they attractive???
Meanwhile, Vons and Wealthy have a slumber party.
Wealthy doesn’t consider jurisdiction. Aracyne’s a chill bro. Grickx forgets all about opsec. Vons yawns.
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/RSS FeedThe party investigates the whereabouts of one Professor Jenkins. They also try to recover the strange machine from Dr. Groves’s lab. Shit’s heavy, y’know?
Grickx blows something up. Vons gives someone a discount. Aracyne gets a hug from a sucker. Wealthy finds vintage clothes.
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Fun fact! Turns out you *can* make paper from mushrooms: https://fungi.com/blogs/articles/making-mushroom-paper
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/RSS FeedAfter collaboratively looting Dr. Groves’s office, the party engages in capitalism by going shopping. And then argues about capitalist labor practices. We’re on-brand, y’know?
Aracyne goes hard on an accent. Grickx leaves a message. Wealthy assembles a tower of knowledge. Vons tries to inspire The Youth.
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/RSS FeedPlots and schemes brew at the brewery when the party meets late at night to catch up with each other’s progress. They hatch a plan. Turns out, not everyone agrees with that plan, and one of them decides to take matters into their own hands.
Grickx pulls a wire. Aracyne gets the spray bottle. Wealthy’s left holding the rope. Vons has a unique take on fences.
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/RSS FeedThe legal trials are over so now the party gets back to what they do best: spying, sleeping, and freaking out about their relationships.
Grickx almost forgets something. Aracyne engages in mail tampering. Vons sleeps, perchance to dream. Wealthy gets book-blocked.
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/RSS FeedIt’s time for Wealthy to go to court! The party has her story all figured out and the inspector’s accepted it, so it should all be smooth sailing. She might not even get executed for trespassing! As long as no one interrupts the proceedings…
Wealthy gives a speech about injustice. Grickx objects to the judge’s judgement. Aracyne violates library protocol. Vons enjoys a front-row seat.
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/RSS FeedThe party boldly strides forward into Fantasy Sunday, an excellent day to plot, plan, and most importantly panic about their lives. They’ve got just 24 hours until Wealthy goes to court, and every second counts.
Vons has a relaxing time in nature. Grickx makes plans to canoodle over noodles. Wealthy guns for an enchanted item. Aracyne plans an exit strategy.
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/RSS FeedThe party faces their greatest enemy yet: the legal system, as one of their most ridiculous actions to date catches up with them. Luckily they have an airtight story all ironed out.
Wealthy is a shining exemplar of poise. Vons forgets to file a requisition form. Grickx doesn’t want to put labels on things yet. Aracyne encounters her boyfriend’s past. The CK still can’t do accents.
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/RSS FeedThe party makes it to the morning after a long and eventful night where the concept of a centrifuge was researched, and some other stuff happened. It was a struggle, where blood was shed and private places were infiltrated. But at least no one’s dying, right?
Funny story…
Grickx updates his paperwork. Aracyne makes tea. Vons goes in for a hug. Wealthy gets tied to a bed.
It’s our one year anniversary this week! Thanks y’all for sticking with us and we look forward to creating more Primary Attribute for you to enjoy for a long time to come. 🙂
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/RSS FeedIt’s a long night for the party as they grapple somewhat bravely with their ongoing struggles. We pick up right where we left off, with fights, nightmares, getting laid, and Gex…
Grickx examines a bookshelf. Wealthy finds her rope. Vons commits violence to vases. Aracyne listens to her grandfather.
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We mistakenly say the Book of Erotic Fantasy is out of print, but it is available in PDF! https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/12195/Book-of-Erotic-Fantasy -
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/RSS FeedThe night isn’t over yet as the party moves in on Corva. Or at least one of them is making moves on her. The others are sleeping peacefully, like cowards. Though that doesn’t last long!
Grickx acts on impulse. Aracyne gets a cookie. Vons is on the beach.
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Note: Kelly had to step out suddenly during recording, so there’s essentially no Wealthy this episode. She’s back next week! You do, at least, get a cameo from a different beloved character of Kelly’s.
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/RSS FeedThe party’s stakeout of Corva continues, this time with wildly different results as Grickx and Wealthy take the helm. Paths are hiked, messages are sent, and cold is felt. Also spoiler warning for Jurassic Park III (2001), of all things.
Wealthy dreams of home. Grickx takes a nap. Aracyne has a check-in. Vons comes knocking.
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Bonus Fun Links!
Wikipedia article for Petra, the ancient city: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petra
The William Shatner article (NY Times, not Esquire, it turns out): https://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/05/magazine/05Shatner-t.html
The merely SEVENTEEN year old Penny Arcade comic: https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2005/08/05/the-nemesis
Found footage of Grickx and Wealthy as spies (according to Whit): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNSNLXNnx-o -
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/RSS FeedThe party finishes planning, and gets down to business. The business of a little lighthearted surveillance in the dangerous outdoors.
Vons gets out his blanket. Aracyne proposes a novel strategy for leaving one’s job. Grickx grills an ally to determine their true allegiance. Wealthy gets a weave.
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/RSS FeedThe party figures some shit out. Like what they want to do with their lives! Y’know, little simple easy things like that.
Vons shirks paternal responsibility. Aracyne wants to restrict access to books. Wealthy asks someone for the small favor of treason. Grickx just needs someone to be his Spiro Agnew. The time paradox makes a guest appearance.
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/RSS FeedThe party finishes recuperating from their latest misadventure, and learns some new things about everyone’s favorite magic goop. Also, personal financial anxiety! Keeping it relevant over here.
Wealthy has a shoulder-based epiphany. Vons has something in common with baby boomers. Grickx doesn’t need JSTOR. Aracyne has The Talk. The CK manages to fail to do an intended accent three different times.
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/RSS FeedThe party drags their injured members to the clinic to get patched up and recover. While they’re there, a social kerfuffle breaks out, they take advantage of local expertise, and a member attempts petty theft. Later, politics are discussed with someone’s mom.
Aracyne misses an important introduction. Wealthy up and moves. Vons is a single issue voter. Grickx *doesn’t* want to engage in wanton murder. Weird.
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/RSS FeedHey everyone, please join us in supporting the West Seattle Food Bank for their Instruments of Change event on May 14th, 2022! We’ve sponsored the event and will be there in person, if you want to come say hi, or you can attend virtually, with free tickets still available.
The food bank does a lot of important work in the community, helping provide food, clothes, and numerous other resources to folks in need in Seattle. They can always use more help to provide their services to as many people as possible, and that’s where y’all come in.
If you attend, there are lots of extra fun ways to donate, including a silent auction with some truly cursed dolls among other, less terrifying items. However, even if you’d rather pass on the event, or you’re getting to this past the event date, we’d still love it if you donated a little something to support their mission. (If you can, we know things are tough right now!)
You can donate, learn more about the food bank, and find information about virtual tickets at https://westseattlefoodbank.org/
If you do donate, let us know! We will give you 10,000 Cool Points to go with the warm feeling you’ll have in your heart for helping out a great cause.
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/RSS FeedFrom the moment the desk walked into their lives, the party knew it was going to be trouble. But it had gorgeous hardware and a great set of legs. They couldn’t resist trying to get in its drawer. So they made their move, with all the subtlety of a crowbar. And that’s when everything went sideways.
Vons believes in the importance of hydration. Wealthy overspecializes. Aracyne pays it forward. Grickx acts as if all the world’s a stage.
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/RSS FeedThe party heads back down into the maintenance tunnels to search the facility nestled in the dark part of the grid, having now reached an agreement with the tentacats for permission to move through their territory. Turns out there’s rather a lot to find.
Vons is *not* not all who wander. Aracyne has an almost-kiss. Wealthy accidentally overcharges. Grickx is concerned about timing. Elara’s chill and stuff. The Castle Keeper is definitely not a fan of Prey (2017), how dare you.
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/RSS FeedThe party crawls their way back out of the maintenance tunnels to try and recharge before another day of descending into the deeps. Not everything that happens in the tunnels stays in the tunnels, however, and they find they have to deal with some rather sticky consequences. Also, donuts!
Wealthy has impure thoughts. Vons has a sleepover. Grickx has his concerns dispelled. Aracyne talks it out.
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/RSS FeedHey everyone! No new episode this week. Sometimes life comes at you sideways, or at least prevents you from managing to release a podcast episode at its originally scheduled time.
We’ll be back to our regular schedule next week! Until then, stay safe and well. We’ll see you soon. 🙂
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/RSS FeedThe party may be safe, but with tentacats you can never be sure. Especially when they keep saying you’re food. Negotiations continue as the promised supplies arrive on the scene, along with a few unexpected guests.
Vons is invisible in social situations. Grickx sends someone to the Shadow Realm. Aracyne has Too Much of a Day. Wealthy assumes there’s two sides to every conversation.
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/RSS FeedThe party’s separated and held hostage by tentacats (or possibly holding them hostage, depending on point of view). Except for Vons and Wealthy, who are merely held hostage by BELOVED NPC Gex’s snark. And rusty ladders. And their own curiosity.
Wealthy finds a situation where she *will* charge in. Aracyne explains it’s not what it looks like. Grickx is congratulated. Vons lives the life aquatic.
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/RSS FeedThe party struggles to find each other and escape their perilous situation in the lair of the tentacats. At the rate they’re going, they might not even get any treasure at the end of this! But then again, isn’t the real treasure the friends we made along the way?
Wealthy jumps at shadows. Vons is a thing. Grickx orders delivery. Aracyne meets an up-and-coming amateur Shakesperean actor. The GM never learns.
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/RSS FeedThe party’s fight against the tentacat concludes! They’re down a few members, but they’re scrappy, and that’s what matters. Meanwhile, Vons and Wealthy try to figure out how to deal with being trapped in darkness, with a hungry creature breathing down their necks…
Elara has financial concerns. Aracyne is in the void. Vons reads thiefenscratch. Wealthy checks her inventory. Grickx overplays scritches as a negotiation technique.
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/RSS FeedThe battle against the cat of shadow and tentacles continues! With Aracyne missing, the rest of the party tries to keep it together, take down the creature that took her, and weather the effects the magic goop. It’s a stressful time inside the world’s worst lava lamp.
Vons threads the needle. Wealthy can’t find the right towel. Grickx is a good ferocious boy. Elara has mad hops. Aracyne’s appearances-per-episode contract is violated.
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