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/RSS FeedThe party plunges into the ocean depths in their search for a way to get Wealthy back. Wealthy shops for tchotchkes and meets a mysterious stranger.
Wealthy remembers something. Grickx goes disco. Jyessi finds a sconce. Vons gets a pet.
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/RSS FeedThe party in the prime universe is struggling to figure out what to do next to get Wealthy back. Meanwhile, in the double-prime universe Wealthy debates the best convenience store snacks and goes on a road trip. Clearly she’s in grave danger!
Grickx engages in nontraditional spellcasting. Vons philosophizes about himself. Jyessi teaches zoology. Wealthy combusts.
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/RSS FeedThe party’s still split across the planes, desperately trying to get Wealthy home. Vons, Grickx,and Jyessi dig around for a solution. Meanwhile, Wealthy gets in some light cardio.
Jyessi says the magic words. Vons communicates, in theory. Grickx finds a new shiny. Wealthy visits a park.
Want more background on the setting of Wealthy’s current adventures? Check out our 2022 Halloween Special here: https://primaryattribute.com/podcast/sa004-halloween-special-2022/
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/RSS FeedThe majority of the party brings the fight with the ooze monster to a shocking conclusion. Meanwhile, Wealthy goes to a diner.
Vons is unstuck in time. Grickx isn’t tired. Wealthy becomes a metalhead. Jyessi climbs a tree.
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/RSS FeedThe fight with the terrifying tentacled ooze monster continues to continue, despite everyone’s best efforts. Meanwhile, Wealthy goes on a fun road trip.
Wealthy casts a new spell. Grickx gets tricky. Vons makes like a tree. Jyessi does what Jyessis do best.
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/RSS FeedThe majority of the party continues the fight against a powerful monster made of ooze and demon skeletons. It goes *really* well for everyone. Wealthy learns more about the plane she’s found herself in.
Jyessi gets vacuum sealed. Vons observes. Grickx gets into the swing of things. Wealthy sees a friend.
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/RSS FeedThe party’s separated, one stranded on another plane as the other three hunt down a dangerous monster as part of a deal to save her. It’s hard to tell which is more dangerous: a giant terrifying shapeshifting ooze monster or the emotional minefield of waking up in a strange universe where you’re vividly confronted with the ghost of past tragedy.
I might go for the giant ooze monster, honestly.
Jyessi looks at a blade of grass. Grickx fist bumps. Vons climbs a tree. Wealthy joins a call.
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P.S. The title of this week’s episode is sourced from the poem “Lady Lazarus” by Sylvia Plath.
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/RSS FeedThe party ventures further into this magma-filled cave, finding piles of gold and treasure out in the open for the taking. Sitting above it all, however, is a truly gorgeous urn. They should check it out…
Grickx hums. Wealthy lays down in a field. Jyessi wields a dagger. Vons distrusts physical currency.
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/RSS FeedIn their quest to rid Wealthy of the creature infesting her bloodstream, the party ventures into a mysterious cave near the abandoned village. Fun fact: the ominous glow at the bottom of the stairs? Not just mood lighting!
Wealthy snuffs someone out. Jyessi stomps on her shield. Vons goes inside the minimum safe distance. Grickx shows that chaos beats flame.
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/RSS FeedWealthy stomps off into the swamp, leaving the rest of the party behind still asleep in their bedrolls. It’s the middle of the night, and she’s following people with torches, strange robes, and animal skull masks. I bet they’re going to have a killer LAN party! Probably going to play Halo and everything! I know *I’m* jealous.
Wealthy finally lets someone in. Jyessi cuts deep. Vons nabs a strange sample. Grickx uses the highly advanced technology of fire.
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/RSS FeedThe party settles down for an evening in the abandoned village and tries to get some sleep. They’re shortly disturbed by creaking noises out in the dark. Let’s investigate, gang!
Grickx coos comfortingly. Jyessi shares her nickname. Vons makes cookies. Wealthy is led into temptation.
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/RSS FeedThe party ventures out to explore the island and check for any Corruption presence along the way. Treacherous terrain, strange animals, and mysteries await!
Jyessi runs book club. Wealthy backs away from feathers. Vons tries to save versus hug. Grickx spots something with the setting sun’s last light.
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/RSS FeedThe party’s defeated the kraken, but they’re not safe yet. The ship is taking on water as the storm continues to hammer away. Will they manage to save the ship? Or do they get to figure out just how long they can swim?
Vons feels the pressure. Jyessi finds a perfect match. Grickx pitches. Wealthy is a beacon of hope.
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/RSS Feed(The cast has had a lot of Life Stuff happen all at once recently, which has affected our recording schedule. So no standard episode this week, though fear not, those will be back soon! Instead we offer some fine, fine bonus content for your listening pleasure.)
Once upon a time, an old elvish man with a very sharp mind and very poor relationship-building skills gave his granddaughter an assignment to compare two books. As he did, the universe tipped slightly, causing a single ball-bearing to roll off of that plane of reality, tumble through the endless void, and reappear at a very different time and place, where it promptly hit a certain Castle Keeper in the head. This inspired that CK to be a super-nerd, and actually write these in-universe books. Back in the original universe the process by which the books were filled was invisible, except maybe to the gods, or a creature named Gex. He’s odd like that.
Now you can benefit from the CK’s nerdery by enjoying the texts of two in-universe books, “The Aean Logbook” and “Kylandril: A Primer and Survey.” The information in both has been underpinning the party’s decisions for a while, and now you get the full context. There’s tales of derring-do, weird date systems, societal division, and footnotes! Something for everyone. Probably.
We hope you enjoy!
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/RSS FeedThe party battles a kraken on the high seas! Dives are done dramatically, swashes are buckled, and ships are battered and broken. Also: cephalopod snuggles!
The Great Squirrello gets caught up in personal problems. Wealthy makes an opening. Vons practices proper potion safety. Jyessi wrangles a rodeo stunt. Grickx does some cetacean creatin’.
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/RSS FeedThe party arrives and Harper’s Fleet and tries to negotiate passage to Aea. Their great and fearless leader pops in to help.
Jyessi leaves her sea legs in her other pants. Grickx does a polar bear swim. Wealthy tangles with her old nemesis, gravity. Vons tries to make calamari. Squirrello regards fish with appropriate suspicion.
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/RSS FeedThe party goes off to find Harper’s Fleet. They just have to take care of a few things before they leave. It goes about as smoothly as it does for most of us.
Vons packs magic snacks. Grickx is ready to goooooo. Wealthy gets a health check. Jyessi’s just so excited to be here.
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/RSS FeedThe party engages in some pharmaceutical testing. Or they will, if they can find their way back to base. Orienteering is hard!
Vons causes immeasurable sadness. Grickx ruins a door. Wealthy turns down a prime offer. Jyessi hears something coming.
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/RSS FeedThe party works on plans for a new base and attempts to subdue a dangerous corrupted creature caught in their cunning trap. There’s daring! There’s danger! There’s logistics!
Jyessi uses a specialty tool. Grickx ties the knot. Wealthy suffers the Air Bud precedent. Vons makes draft picks.
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/RSS FeedThe party made it down to the ground, and now it’s time to do research! And learn what the ocean smells like!
Jyessi takes in the view. Grickx offers a ride. Wealthy doesn’t think through all the angles. Vons feels secure.
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/RSS FeedThe party’s beat up as hell, Grickx is a popsicle, and they’re not sure what to do next. But there’s a shiny object nearby! They should look at that.
Grickx takes a deal. Wealthy finally uses her history lessons. Jyessi sets some boundaries. Vons doesn’t learn.
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/RSS FeedIt’s time for the party to head back down to the ground, and that means traveling through the maintenance tunnels and caverns below the city to reach a teleportation circle. The real question is: how many Arx-OSHA noncompliance tickets will they file before they get there?
Vons takes decisive action. Jyessi does a press-up. Wealthy flaps her hands. Grickx is a chill dude.
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/RSS FeedIt’s time for our 2023 (Winter) Solstice Special! The party’s been cursed with some last-minute gift shopping, and things quickly get even more complicated than the usual weighing of potential jail time versus your child’s disappointment as you knife fight over the last Playstation.
Grickx ruminates on loofahs. Vons engages in some 1st grade science. Jyessi points at a child. Wealthy does some flashy baking.
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/RSS FeedThe party encounters a prospective member! Will they recruit this new person? Or will the episode be a shaggy dog story? Ooh, the fake suspense!
Grickx designs a game. Wealthy makes some space. Vons struggles with personal bias. Jyessi corrals children.
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/RSS FeedIt’s time for the party to engage in everyone’s favorite activity: mourning! They’re going to throw a wake for Aracyne. And read the letters she wrote them in case of her death. Cheerfulness all around!
Vons goes climbing. Grickx works the room. Wealthy gets support from an unlikely source.
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P.S. Ian feels the need to let y’all know the title is referencing this song by Radical Face: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jR3AvvGr28Q
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/RSS FeedThe party watches to see if even more familicide is in the cards tonight, conducts a cover up, raids a place for documents, and tries to do some emotional processing. Big night!
Vons goes through someone’s bag. Grickx provides an excellent Acting. Wealthy endorses a statement.
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/RSS FeedThe aftermath of the shipyard battle is a giant tangled mess, and it’s up to our party to help detangle it. Or make the snarl worse. One of the two. There’s no way Inspector Pearl will regret letting them get involved.
Grickx is difficult. Vons assumes a certain kind of relationship. Wealthy gives a much-needed hug.
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/RSS FeedThe party’s back together as Wealthy and Grickx return to the secret shipyard to save Vons, who’s a little tied up at the moment. An altercation ensues. Illusions abound, missiles are magic’ed, and Vons pursues an old lady. No, not that kind of pursue.
Grickx ramps up. Vons has fun with foam. Wealthy makes an unfortunate discovery.
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/RSS FeedWealthy and Grickx are cold and lost, and Vons is held captive by some truly awful people. They need to find a way out of their dire predicaments, and that might require some drastic measures.
Grickx knows what a creek is like. Wealthy relinquishes legal authority. Vons calls on a friend.
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/RSS FeedShit gets real.
Aracyne challenges authority. Grickx practices poor fire safety. Vons makes a pamphlet. Wealthy takes a leap of faith.
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/RSS FeedThe party wakes up to find the Arx abandoned and slowly falling to the ground. It’s not ideal! So they set forth to fix things and get the Arx back to normal, with the help of the most magical substance of all.
Grickx laps up some milk. Wealthy gardens aggressively. Aracyne has an Entrapment moment. Vons blows someone’s mind.
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/RSS FeedScheduling Note: Keep an eye out for our Halloween special, dropping on Monday next week!
The party goes to rescue Wealthy from her precarious hiding spot in a giant scary secret shipyard. They just need to find the shipyard. And her. And get her down. And slip in and out of a highly secure area without anyone noticing. Easy!
Grickx gets tricky. Wealthy pines for snacks. Aracyne turns on the waterworks. Vons would like to leave now, please.
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/RSS FeedThe party takes a little time to chill out and do a little bonding. The plot surely can’t find them and wreck their day. Right?
Vons actually contributes to his business. Grickx tries to find a cart. Aracyne has some Girl Talk Time ™. Wealthy takes a peek.
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/RSS FeedHoney (somewhat) obtained, most of the party goes to visit Wealthy’s parents. Meanwhile, Grickx turns illusions for cash.
Vons follows his nose. Aracyne advocates. Wealthy has an old favorite book. Grickx works on branding.
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/RSS FeedThe party is going to do some NERD stuff. Reading! Research! Entomology! Also they visit some BEES.
Vons tries to take a nap. Wealthy send a parental missive. Aracyne drops some names. Grickx furthers his quest to Quarkdom.
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/RSS FeedIt’s time to engage in a little corporate espionage! The party is determined to obtain the now-buried research done by Bjartell’s back in the day. Will it be a cunning break-in? A con job? A time loop caper???
Vons takes on a stony countenance. Wealthy threatens someone. Grickx wants to be included. Aracyne hangs out with her boyfriend’s ex.
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/RSS FeedThe party tries to chase down more sources of honey, which involves talking to everyone’s favorite person: Nara! Also Vons gives a presentation to a room of politely interested people.
Aracyne loans a handkerchief. Wealthy follows along. Vons asks for volunteers. Grickx dodges the question.
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/RSS FeedThe party decides on a direction for their research efforts as they attempt to find a cure for the Corruption. It immediately devolves into arguments about milking bees. Or juicing them. It gets weird, is what we’re saying.
Vons has creative entomological ideas. Wealthy talks shop with a shopkeep. Aracyne tracks down an acquaintance. Grickx is down for ground bees.
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/RSS FeedThe party…doesn’t show up in this week’s episode! :O
We realized that the Corruption’s creation myth a few episodes back was presented in a really confusing way. So this week we’re bringing you a hopefully-clearer and expanded version of the myth. This will also be the version Grickx received, retroactively, so all the player characters have this same information going forward.
We’ll be back with a standard episode next week. We hope you enjoy the show!
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/RSS FeedThe party levels up! Twice! We take a little breather to power up everyone’s characters and get ready for the next arc of the campaign now that they’ve made it back to the Arx.
Vons chooses mobility over being good with his tongue. Aracyne is able to take a few more hits. Grickx dreams up a new business opportunity. Wealthy learns how to be Big Brother.
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/RSS FeedThe party’s finally in a position to do some Science! Time to see what they can learn about how to treat the Corruption. Maybe they’ll discover something previous researchers didn’t…
Aracyne leads a deep breathing exercise. Wealthy keeps everyone in line. Vons knows that the gods gave him two perfectly fine spreaders already. Grickx has a list and he’s checking it twice.
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/RSS Feed*Content Warning*: Discussions of torture and non-consensual medical experimentation.
The party pauses and realizes there might be some ethical issues with their master plan. Debate ensues.
Aracyne doesn’t see the problem. Grickx is solutions-oriented. Vons wants to preserve his customer base. Wealthy takes a stand, and it’s incredible.
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/RSS FeedThe party keeps exploring the underground settlement they’ve found themselves in, and ponder asking the well another question. Oh, and panic about Grickx’s unconsciousness. There’s also that.
Grickx uses a quill. Aracyne breaks the news. Wealthy administers first aid. Vons finds a tasty snack.
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You too can finally see the Wells for Boys sketch! Follow this link to unlock the sacred knowledge of what the hell we’re talking about: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BONhk-hbiXk
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/RSS FeedWe take a moment to dive inside Grickx’s mind in a special episode! He’s going to solve his own insanity, brought on by his psychic contact with the Corruption, or die trying. Hahaha, the CK wouldn’t actually kill him if he died in his mind, right?
…Right?
Grickx irrigates some dirt. The CK gives at least one confusing lore dump. Vons, Aracyne, and Wealthy all hang out off-camera playing cards or something.
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/RSS FeedThe party heads out from the hidden village to recover their satellite lab teammates and get down to studying the Corruption. It’s just a few days travel through the woods. Surely nothing interesting or unexpected will happen. What is this, some sort of collaborative improvised narrative?
Grickx wells well enough. Vons gets annoyed at an interruption. Aracyne opens a door in a really cool way. Wealthy takes charge.
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/RSS FeedThe party spends some time exploring the village nestled away in the narrows, hidden from the Corruption that roams the earth. It’s a chance to tell stories, trade information, and finally find someone as grossed out by the idea of eating insects as Erin is.
Wealthy cooks an onion. Vons gets an F in basic physics. Aracyne knows politics ain’t easy. Grickx shares a sobering maintenance report.
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/RSS FeedThe party has been safely guided by Jelsum Squab to a hidden village in the woods that has somehow survived the corruption all these years. Now it’s time to make new friends. God help them.
Vons eyes market expansion. Aracyne has a limited social vocabulary. Grickx growls grumpily. Wealthy needs a towel.
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/RSS FeedThe party’s rested up after their brush with death fighting off the swarm of corrupted creatures that nearly discovered their base. Now they go to keep an appointment, and see if perhaps they aren’t so alone on the ground after all.
Please welcome our special guest, Mikey Neumann! He’s hella cool and you’re all going to have a great time with him this episode. We know we did recording it. 😀
Vons violates a burn ban. Aracyne has a type. Wealthy gets guts everywhere. Grickx discovers what’s more valuable than gold. Jelsum is going to get everybody killed.
Thank you again to Mikey Neumann for guesting on this episode! Please go check out his wonderful work:
The Filmjoy Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/filmjoy
Twitter: https://twitter.com/FilmJoyMedia
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/movieswithmikeyCheck us out online! We’re at https://www.primaryattribute.com
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/RSS FeedThe party contends with a swarm of corrupted creatures that could find their secret base any second. They review their cunning plan before bursting out into the fray to save the base and themselves. But no plan is flawless, and it looks like not everyone might be saved after all.
Um…have fun?
Grickx takes a peek. Vons gets sticky all over the place. Wealthy wields a wizard’s wand. Aracyne screams.
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/RSS FeedOur party is reunited, just in time for everything to be terrible. At least they can face it together! All they need is a cunning plan, and perhaps a new haphazard device or two…
Wealthy volunteers for a scary thing of her own volition. Aracyne gets an answer. Grickx creates a new communication protocol. Vons is back, babyee.
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Primary Attribute
An Actual Play Podcast
